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Monday, November 15, 2010

Sunday, December 16, 2001 - Howler Monkey Pizza


Last Monday, Larry and I went shopping at Wal-Mart, and got almost all the rest of the Christmas presents we needed.  I have only a few more to wrap, and I’ll be done.
That evening, I started typing Joseph’s report on W. A. Criswell, the pastor of one of the largest Baptist churches in the world, located in Dallas, Texas.  Joseph likes this preacher’s autobiography, Standing on the Promises, and has read the book several times.
A friend of mine used to often quote, “...a chicken in every pot...”  In typing Joseph’s report, I have just discovered who said it, and the rest of the quote:  It was Herbert Clark Hoover, whose platform slogan was, “A chicken in every pot, a car in every garage.”  Hmmm...  I wonder why my friend left out the last part?
Wednesday was Lawrence’s (Larry’s stepfather's) birthday.  After church, Larry, Dorcas, Victoria, and I took his birthday present to him--a big book about the Civil War and a calendar on which I’d written all our friends’ birthdates and anniversaries.  Kenny and Annette (Larry’s brother and sister-in-law) and their girls, Keith and Esther, and Lawrence’s daughter Barbara and her children were there, and we all had cake and ice cream.
Thursday afternoon, Hannah and Aaron came; Hannah gave us an 8x10 of Aaron she’d had taken at a studio.  He’s sooo cute...  (And, as I have told you, I am not prejudiced, just realistic.  He’s sooo cute.)  (Plus, he’s awfully sweet, too.)
That evening I took Lydia to Wal-Mart to get some presents.  As for me, I’d intended only to get a little red car for Caleb to give a young cousin of his whose name he drew for their class Christmas exchange.  I wound up filling my cart full.  There were some adorable burgundy patent leather shoes in Victoria’s size, and they jumped into the cart when I wasn’t looking; I couldn’t help it, you see.  Also, Wal-Mart finally restocked the big frames I needed for my pictures (and I do hope they come).  Next, I happened upon the very material Hannah needed for sleeve lining, and while looking for the little red car, we found a couple of pull-cord cars that I knew would suit Caleb and Victoria to a tee (yes, Victoria likes to play with cars).
In the meanwhile, Lydia got some cute little vehicles with tiny matching iron pieces to use on a monopoly game (for Teddy and Joseph), several cards of pretty ribbon barrettes (for her sisters), and pens (for her father).  And after all that, I even remembered to get the candy bars Hester had ordered for Larry (and probably for me, too) (but don’t tell her I said that).
That night, my sister Lura Kay sent over a beautiful red suit for me to wear to the Christmas program--but the skirt was too tight.  (No, I am not pear-shaped; the suit was made wrong.  Doubtless, its designer was shaped exactly like an ostrich.)  The seam allowances were rather meager, and letting it out would only have given me an extra half-inch or so...  Hmmm.
Teddy went shopping in Lincoln that afternoon, taking Caleb with him.  Those two are ten years apart, but they are great friends.  Now...can you guess why he went shopping at a big mall on a non-date day?  Yep; he hadn’t yet purchased a gift for Amy.
He got her a big mixer with attachments.  Now, if he can just wait until Christmas to give it to her...
Friday afternoon there was Christmas program practice.  This time, the small children, including Victoria, stayed through the entire practice, and they practiced it through twice.  Victoria was delighted that she got to hear the ‘big kids’ sing, and she’s been singing all those Christmas songs ever since.
Everyone had been dying for pizza all week long, and we finally indulged them that night.  Joseph happily took it upon himself to order for us, so we wound up with three large pizzas instead of the two with which we usually make do:  cheese, meatlovers, and supreme.  No taco pizza, which is what I usually order.  I’d never had those first two, but I discovered they were better than I’d expected.  (Thank goodness he didn’t get the Hawaiian pizza, or I’d’ve had to disown him.)  (There are pineapples and live howler monkeys on it, isn’t that right?)
Oh.  Never mind.  The howler monkeys come with the Honduras pizza.  It’s skipjack and Branta sandvincensis, also known as Hawaiian goose, that comes with the Hawaiian pizza.  Sandvincenses are fairly harmless (especially in comparison with howler monkeys, who have a reputation for rupturing the tympanum [also known as the ‘eardrum’] with their ghastly shrieking); sandvincenses only nip you when you turn your back on them.
Anyway, we did our best to get around the outside of all three pizzas, but we just couldn’t do it.  So Larry and the boys wound up with some pizza for their dinner the next day.
Teddy brought Amy and her brother Charles over for a while to look at a video, one of a set Teddy got in Lincoln, about fighter jets.  What amazing things those planes can do!
In the meantime, I tried to wear off some of that pizza by playing ping-pong with the littles, and a couple of games with Larry.  I’m seriously out of practice.  I must think I’m playing baseball; I keep trying to hit home runs.
Saturday, as soon as Larry got home from work, we headed for Omaha to exchange the suit Lura Kay gave me.  We first went to Desoto National Wildlife Refuge, north of Omaha and just over the Missouri River.  It was already getting dark.  We went down a wooden walkway and into a big ‘blind’, built with strategically slanted boards and small holes here and there, so people can look out onto the river without the birds noticing them--if they are quiet and move slowly.  The snow geese--thousands of them--starting coming back to the river from feeding in the nearby cornfields, and I took videos as long as I could, until it was so dark my camcorder would no longer focus.  Those geese were noisy.
And so were Caleb and Victoria, dashing back and forth on the wooden planks from one high-powered viewer to another, making the geese wheel about and head back the other way, until Larry and I ordered them to step quietly, move slowly, and stay against the sides of the blind.  The viewers were something on the order of spotting scopes.  I tried taking videos through one, but it didn’t work.  Would it, in the daytime, I wonder?
We then headed out of the refuge, seeing about a dozen deer on our way.
We continued to Dillards, a big clothing store taking up three floors in the Crossroads Mall, and exchanged the suit Lura Kay gave me.  Now almost the entire thing is too big for me--but at least it goes around my caboose without making me feel as though I daren’t sneeze, lest I endanger the lives of those around me.  I shall have to alter it a bit, so as not to look like the saggy baggy elephant.
Either that, or make more pumpkin pie.
We ate at Arby’s in the food court on the third balcony, and then stopped in a little store called Everything For A Dollar, where I discovered I really did need a few more Christmas presents, after all.  Then, as we were leaving the store, Larry spotted a small basketball which he thought we needed for the little hoop he’d put up for the littles in the garage, and I was elected against my wishes to go back in and pay for it.  I started to write out a check for $1.07, and then the lady told me they had a required minimum purchase of $3.00 when writing a check.
So I snatched up a couple of tiny pull-back Volkswagens, one shiny black, the other shiny teal, that happened to be displayed there on the counter beside me, and handed them to her.  “There!” I said triumphantly.  “Howzat?”
She laughed and checked me out.
Anybody need some Volkswagens for Christmas?
Before leaving Omaha, we drove by a couple of enormous new houses with Christmas lights all over the place.  There must have been twenty trees on the rolling grounds around one house, and there were lights thickly covering every single tree.
Larry told me that people hire that job done, sometimes paying over a thousand dollars to have lights put up.  Yipes.  Guess I’m satisfied with the strands of icicles hanging from our eaves, and the garland and lights Dorcas put on the porch railing and our little blue spruce out front.
I’d better be, eh?!
I’d taken along an album I got for Mama, and as we drove I began putting into it old family pictures from a box I’d come upon in Mama’s basement when I was looking for presents.  I will give it to her for Christmas.  But...every time I opened those albums, I think, Larry proceeded to start falling asleep as he drove, and I had to take over at the wheel.  So I didn’t quite get done.  But I’d hate to have a nicely done album, and a badly undone Suburban after a dozing driver ditched it, wouldn’t you?
And now it is Sunday night, and Larry has just gone to lock the church, taking with him the last bag of presents I needed to put under the tree there.
We’ve given Joseph one of his gifts already:  new axles for his car.  Teddy, as his gift to Joseph, will put them on for him.
As I look through my list, it seems that perhaps Teddy has wound up on the short end of the stick, and I should get something else for him.
Oh!  I’ve got it:  Two pull-back Volkswagens, one shiny black, the other shiny teal.
Can’t you just see Teddy down on the floor on all fours, playing happily with his Volkswagens?  Wheeeeeeee!!!

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