Have you been in suspense all week, wondering just exactly what happened with the McDonald girls?
You remember, severe thunderstorms with 70-mph winds were coming through, and a tornado was on the ground just 15 miles north of Columbus, moving toward the southeast at 35 mph. And Jennifer and Sarah had not yet arrived. If they were too slow, their route would be directly in the path of these storms.
The table was set with the best china, water had been poured into the crystal glasses, peaches halves were in little bowls looking festive with maraschino cherries garnishing them, and finally I decided I’d better let the children eat the lasagna Norma had made, before they got too hungry. In the meanwhile, there was not a moment gone by but what a nose or two was pressed to one of the windows, looking toward 17th Street, hoping for a car with two young ladies to come around the corner. I’d just filled the tenth plate with a healthy serving of lasagna, and was preparing to put the pan with Jennifer and Sarah’s pieces back into the oven to keep them warm, when several of the children announced at once, “They’re here, they’re here!”
And sure enough. They were here. They’d made it safely, before the storm hit. The entire family thronged out onto the porch to greet them, and even the cats went outside to stare at the strange car on the drive. Jennifer had a headache, doubtless from the two very loooong days of driving she’d had; but we dosed her well with Motrin, lasagna, lettuce salad, peaches, and cookies. The girls regaled us with stories about their drive. They told of the long road through the woods of Minnesota--a road that curves neither to the left nor to the right, but continues straight ahead without so much as a slight curve.
Jennifer was driving, and Sarah was falling asleep, when Jennifer awoke her sister, saying, “Sarah, Sarah! Wake up, wake up. There’s a bend!!”
They were intrigued and amused at the “Bump” signs, seen periodically on the United States roads, complete with an arrow pointing directly to the spot.
Usually, the signs announce a bump not too awfully troublesome. Car drivers universally go into a Deep State of Relaxation, knowing they will be warned of all Bumps in the Future. But!-- it is generally not a very long while after passing such a sign, before one goes crash-banging into an absolutely horrendous bump, ruining all the shocks, losing all four hubcaps, and placing a goose egg on the tiptop of one’s noggin from blapping it into the ceiling of one’s car. That bump, however, the Bump of all Bumps, is never marked. Never.
Because there was the threat of a storm coming, Larry told Jennifer to put her car into our garage, where they could get their bags and cooler and things out and bring them into the house without getting rained on. After carrying in a few things, Jennifer asked Hannah if she wanted to see the dress she was planning to wear to the wedding. She opened her bag, and pulled out---her riding jacket.
She’d brought the wrong bag.
Jennifer, nearly in tears, went rushing out of Hannah’s room toward Hester and Lydia’s, where were the rest of the girls, calling, “Sarah, Sarah! I got the wrong bag! I don’t have my dress!”
Sarah gave her sister a big hug. “It’ll be okay; we’ll find something for you to wear!” she assured her, and the rest of us joined in, telling her there were a grand plenty of friends and relatives close enough to her size, who would be delighted to lend her something.
The girls gave us a pretty thank-you card for inviting them to our house, and a very lovely tall, heavy crystal vase. Sarah gave Dorcas--early for her birthday--a musical globe with the Canadian Parliament building inside, and other buildings and sites of interest all around the outside.
Larry, noticing that the girls’ car had been worked on, took another look. Their father had fixed a few dents, sanded it, and put on a new hood. The grill was missing, and we later learned that it had blown off somewhere in Des Moines, smacking into their windshield on its course into oblivion. They could not pull over to retrieve it on account of the traffic; even if they could’ve pulled to the shoulder, they might have found the grill reduced to bits by the vehicles flying past on all sides; and if the grill was still in one piece, perhaps the girls would not be, after dashing across five or six lanes of traffic to salvage it. So the grill was left in Des Moines. The car is a ’91 Ford Escort. Larry knew that he had red Ford paint at his shop that would match the car, and he needed to go to Madison the following day, so he thought he would look for a new grill, and perhaps a hubcap, for their car.
He told the girls what he wanted to do, nearly rendering Jennifer speechless. But when he got the car to his shop the next morning and began looking it over, he discovered that the rust was eating up the entire underside; in fact, rust was coming through the floor all around the seats so badly, it would not have been long before seats, girls, and all would have landed smack on the turf, while the car body continued on without them. Furthermore, the car had 413,000 kilometers on it. (That’s 252,756 in miles.) He wondered what to do next, especially since he had already told the girls he would paint their car.
When Larry got to Madison Body Shop for parts, would you ever believe, there sat a ’95 Ford Escort, a slightly darker color of red--and metallic--than Jennifer and Sarah’s, in very good condition. It had about 97,000 miles on it, nearly new tires, and it ran and drove well. The shocks were good--something more than could be said for theirs. There were only a few dents that needed to be fixed, and it needed a new windshield; but there was no rust. No rust. No rust!!
The Plot had begun.
As I type, the children have been outside playing for some time. Victoria just came running in to ask me, “Can I play outside?”
“Yes,” I replied, and she happily went skipping back out, calling to her sisters, “I can play outside!”
Silly goose, she had been, all along. But it must’ve suddenly occurred to her that she, specifically, had not asked permission.
At 9:30 Tuesday morning, Hannah, Dorcas, Jennifer, Sarah, Hester, Lydia, and multitudes (well, several) cousins and friends converged on the church kitchen to make wedding mints. They made four batches. When they were all done, everything all cleaned up, and everybody ready to go, Amy came to tell Hannah that she’d heard some of the girls discussing whether or not Hannah had made enough mints, and one even had her calculator out, figuring away. All the other recent brides had made six batches. Four would not be enough.
Now why didn’t they tell Hannah this when they were making the mints??! So Hannah, Jennifer, Sarah, Hester, Lydia, Jodie, and Sharon make four more batches of wedding mints in our kitchen that afternoon.
In the meanwhile, I made burlap soup. When the soup was well under way, Sarah went out to our back yard with several of the little girls to pick mulberries. They soon brought me half a quart. I put them into a date/nut muffin mix and popped them into the oven. Mmmm, yummy!
Eh? What’s all that clamoring? Ya’ll say you don’t know what burlap soup is? Tisk, tisk. Why, burlap soup, my dear, is that soup made with chicken, a few assorted vegetables, lots of spices, and that rice that is sold in large burlap bags. Although the rice inside the burlap is supposedly protected by the plastic bag in which it is packaged, it nevertheless has a distinct aroma and flavor of burlap. I threw in three Vidalia onions. They obligingly picked up the bouquet and the taste, too. Finally, in desperation, I added cayenne pepper. That was the ticket; no more Essence of Burlap.
But something wasn’t quite right…did I add too many green beans? Too much corn? Too much Creole seasoning? I do not know. It just wasn’t right, and that’s the truth of it.
Hannah’s new contacts came, thank goodness. She rushed off to get them from the Optimetric Center…with the new glasses, and also with the new contacts, she can see better, and, in turn, she feels better, too.
Sarah has played the piano for us, and Jennifer has played both Hannah’s violin and Dorcas’ fiddle. The girls are quite skilled; we enjoy listening to them. Sarah also plays clarinet; too bad we don’t have one to offer her!
Wednesday church was canceled, because Loren didn’t feel well. Hannah and Jennifer went to Esther’s that afternoon, and she helped them finish the rest of the hats. They are purple straw pillboxes with curved creases in the crown. At the back Hannah put a fan-shape of purple chiffon, and at the base of the fan she put a purple taffeta rosette. Sprays of pearls fan out from the rosette; and in the crease is glued a strand of pearls.
When Dorcas got off work, she went to Esther’s house, too, to help put the hats together. Her boss let her off early, just because she knows the Canadian visitors are here, and because Hannah’s wedding is coming up. Sarah, after playing the piano for a time, went to take a nap--and slept several hours. I think those girls are exhausted.
Helen brought us some cinnamon rolls … and then Norma called and said she was making cinnamon rolls, and would bring them before supper. MMMmmm, yummy.
Hannah, Dorcas, Jennifer, and Sarah made the ‘favors’ for the bride’s table that evening. In each little circle of netting, they placed a couple of Jordan almonds and a couple of Hershey kisses with almonds.
The McDonald girls have found out how well I like chocolate, and Jennifer gave me part of a bag of Hershey kisses she’d bought, telling me, “Go hide these somewhere.”
I took them, thanked her, and said, “Well, okay; but I’m not going to hide them for long!”
And I didn’t, either.
That afternoon, I filled our Suburban with gas--and it cost $69.77. Aarrgghh. That’s awful. Okay, where shall we go??!
Norma brought over several suits and dresses for Jennifer to try on; the first one she put on fit perfectly and looked nice. She likes it, and is very pleased.
About 9:15 p.m., Larry came home--with the ’95 Ford Escort. Quite a few of the kids were outside playing frisbee. Sarah stared as he drove by.
“Is that our car?” she asked Dorcas. Getting no answer from Dorcas, who was trying to keep from laughing, she repeated, “Is that our car?” (It’s a bit sleeker than the earlier model.) Nobody answered, and she glanced around at everyone in wonderment, exclaiming, “Is that our car?!”
By then, Larry had pulled into the drive and gotten out. “It is now,” he answered her, and she stared.
In the meanwhile, I, hearing him drive up, said to Jennifer, “I think you’d better go out and see what’s happening.”
She, thinking he’d already painted the car, first rushed to the window and peered out. “Oh, my car!” she exclaimed.
“Hey, I saw that; you peeked!” I said. “No fair! You weren’t supposed to peek!”
We both headed for the door. When she learnt the story of the car, and what we were planning to do, she was struck dumb. She put her hand to her cheek.
“I don’t know what to say,” she said, ever so quietly.
Sarah, more outspoken, grinned. “You could start with ‘thank you’,” she told her sister.
I stayed up till 5:00 a.m. that night sewing appliqués on Victoria’s dress, until I was three-quarters done. Sarah stayed up until 3:30, crocheting; and we had an enjoyable talk. She told me all about the nursing home where she used to work.
When she headed for bed, she discovered that none of the basement lights would work.
“Oh, those kids!” I said, “They’re no doubt pulling a prank on you, and have one light switch balanced on the halfway mark, so that the other switch will not work.”
I turned on the kitchen light at the top of the stairs, and she headed down to see…and she nearly walked right into an intricate yarn spider web. She started giggling, and called me to come look.
I took a look and said, “That’s Joseph’s handiwork, just see if it isn’t.”
She laughed some more. “Isn’t it cute?” she said. “It makes me feel right at home.”
The next morning I found I was right; the Yarn Web was indeed Joseph’s little construction prank.
The Schwan man brought the ice cream for the wedding at 8:30 a.m. There will be a choice of plain vanilla or confetti, which will probably surprise some of the more staid amongst the crowd…
Hannah was relieved to get her 8x10 picture for the guestbook table. It cost a breezy $80.00 for that one picture; how do you like that?! I can have an 8x10 made at Wal-Mart for only $4.00…but since I don’t have a medium- or large-format camera, the larger prints are a little bit grainy. And I don’t have all the equipment to give the portrait the proper lighting, either. So … that’s why we paid Senior Studio to do the pictures.
Hannah and Jennifer went in the ‘new’ car to the grocery store. The girls called their family that morning to tell them about the car, and to ask about transferring the insurance, licensing the car, and other important things they will need to do in order to cross the border without trouble. They must have the title, for cars cannot be taken into Canada without the title. It is supposed to come in Monday.
Sarah told us, “When my father is surprised, he doesn’t say much. I think this time he was stunned, because for a while he didn’t say a word.”
We finally left for Omaha at about 1:00 p.m. It was a little bit of a tight squeeze, with a dozen people in the Suburban, but with a good shoe spoon, we got everybody crammed in there. We first went to Burlington Coat Factory, where we got Teddy a suit, black with a subtle pinstripe, for $119. We also got a suit for Caleb, mostly black, with a touch of blue, and pinstriped; and we picked out a tie for him of black, navy, and red paisley. We also bought white shirts for all the menfolk.
Hannah found long runners of lavender flowers that she will weave along the bottom of the candelabras, and also a beautiful frame for her picture.
Leaving Burlington Coat Factory, we went on to Two Rivers State Park, where we had a lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After playing a rowdy game of Frisbee, half the tribe went fishing while some of the littles (not including Hester, of course) played on the swings and tire gym, and I trotted about taking pictures. Dorcas brought her new camera, and took quite a few pictures, too. We caught two fish worth keeping, and several others that we released.
For supper we had Sloppy Joe sandwiches, complete with lettuce. They were scrumptious … that is, most of us thought they were scrumptious. But don’t ask Caleb or Lydia what they thought of them. On the way home, we stopped at the all-night Wal-Mart SuperStore in Fremont to look for shoes for the girls. We bought white shoes for Dorcas, Hester, Lydia, and Victoria for the wedding, and tennis shoes for Joseph and Larry, not for the wedding.
I was pleased to find the rest of the lace sheers I needed for my living room--the ones I bought the last of in Columbus, the ones that were discontinued, the ones I would not be able to order more of. I got so excited, I bought three extra packages of them.
Teddy bought an afghan for his room that has a picture of a lighthouse on it, and will match the throw pillows I got him for his bed a year or two ago. When Jennifer and Sarah noticed what he was toting about, they stared at it ... They waited until Hannah was preoccupied with the flowers, then stealthily sidled up to ask him just exactly what he was doing with that afghan.
Turns out, they had bought an identical one for Hannah and Bobby, and did not want Teddy to be giving them another.
I drove the rest of the way home from North Bend, because Larry had just taken his medicine, and it always makes him a little sick and dizzy. Anyway, at least his tooth isn’t hurting him any more.
Friday I put up the new curtains. That’s when I discovered I’d bought two too many valances, and one too many sets of swags. Furthermore, I accidentally bought two panels that are only about 60 inches long, instead of 81. I didn’t notice this phenomenon until I’d added one panel to the window on the right side of the fireplace…one panel to the window on the left--and when I tossed them back behind the video player, I noticed: one panel was long, and one was short. I looked at the window on the right: sure enough, there was one long and one short there, too.
Bother.
I got them back off the wall and, with Sarah’s help, put the long ones together on one rod, and the short ones together on another; and then I decided on which window it would be least noticeable to have short curtains.
We put them back up, and they look quite pretty.
That afternoon, I finished sewing the appliqués onto Victoria’s dress. I tied the last knot, and cut the thread.
“There!” I said, “I’m done!”
Victoria whirled around to look at it, clasping her hands together in delight. “Oh, thank goodness!” she exclaimed. “Now we can get married!”
Next job: I hemmed Teddy’s pants. I washed clothes. If *I* keep doing those clothes, rather than having the children do them, they will stay done. Furthermore, they will smell good, into the bargain, because when I wash clothes, I always put at least two dryer sheets into the dryer ... and with each ensuing load, I put the used dryer sheets, so that by the time I do the 100th load, I should have some 200 dryer sheets in the dryer.
Then, while Hester made cranberry muffins, I took Caleb and Victoria to the church to practice walking the aisle decorously, holding the proper hands, heading toward the right destination, and so forth. I had to borrow my mother’s key for the church, because, as is all too usual, ours were in Teddy’s pocket. And the pocket was at Larry’s shop, and it had Teddy with it.
Caleb showed Mama his beautiful ring-bearer pillow; Victoria showed her her cute little flower basket. Mama duly admired them, and asked Victoria a few questions, which she answered in as few words as possible. Then, as we were heading out the door, she could stand it no longer; she just had to tell Mama what she thought of all this:
She took a huge breath: “It’s really going to be fun!” she told Mama with a great deal of enthusiasm, making Mama laugh.
Wedding rehearsal was Friday evening at 7:30. Caleb and Victoria did a bang-up job. Every time Victoria passed across the front of the church, she smiled up at the wedding party folks who were already in their places. Every now and then she looked up at Caleb and offered him a big, delighted grin. After rehearsal was over (did you know that another term for ‘rehearsal’ is ‘dummy run’?), I practiced (not rehearsed, mind you) my song, An Old-Fashioned Home.
I love that song; I just hoped I could sing okay, for I still have a cough. My brother Loren sang that song for my wedding, 21 years ago.
After practicing, Larry and I, with Victoria, went downstairs at the church to look at the decorations. Everything was so pretty. Our friend Sandy, our organist, made and decorated the cake. It was beautiful, with its little purple strands of flowers along the edges of each of the many tiers.
Meanwhile, all the children except Hannah and Victoria went to Pawnee Park to play tennis. Jennifer and Sarah went with them, and Keith and Esther went, too. When they came home, they played an enthusiastic game of SkipBo.
About the time Bobby and Hannah came home, we heard on our scanner that bad weather was coming into the area. Soon it was raining heavily. Several streets flooded, and a few cars stalled in the water. When Keith and Esther and Bobby left, Victoria, watching out the front window, laughed and laughed. She said, “Keith was really hurrying! And Bobby was really, really, really hurrying!!”
Guess what Larry brought home Friday evening? A little camcorder. He got it for $145 at the Pawn Shop. So we have actually entered the era of moving pictures, with our very own video camera, imagine that.
Hannah took her bridal picture to the glass company to have them cut a glass to put in the frame, because it only had a flimsy piece of plastic in it, and it was all scratched up. The glass barely fit, but the lady got it in … and then she didn’t charge her anything, telling Hannah it was her wedding present.
Saturday afternoon I pinned up Larry’s pants and cut them, and was just ready to go hem them (I do it by machine), when I realized: The left leg was fine and dandy, with the hem slightly longer in the back than in the front, just like it was supposed to be. The right leg, however, seemed to have gotten twisted around backwards, and I’d cut it longer in the front, and shorter in the back!! Oh, horrors. How would that look in the pictures?!
“I cut it off three times and it’s still too short!” Larry howled with his Best Famous Comment for the Circumstances. And then he instinctively ducked, since I have a habit of throwing things whenever I hear that remark.
Fortunately, all was not lost; I had allowed enough of a hem that I could reverse the lengths--making it long in the back, short in the front--and still have just enough material to create a hem in the back. Just barely. I pinned it carefully; no one would ever know the difference. And next time I hem a pair of pants in that fashion, you can be sure I will check just one more time before I take the scissors to them!
A little later, Larry found me at my sewing machine, putting in the hem. With his best Woebegone Cocker Spaniel Face, and his best Sad and Pitiful Voice, he asked, “Are you sewing my pantlegs back on?” (And then he ducked.)
Sunday was Lydia’s ninth birthday. Saturday morning I asked Hannah if she knew what her little sister would like. Victoria said, “I think she wants a candle cake!” Actually, I think Victoria wanted a ‘candle cake’. Being rather low on funds, I took a trip to the Salvation Army and Goodwill, instead of Wal-Mart. Lo and behold, there was a stuffed Shar Pei puppy (one of those tragic-looking wrinkled canines) in a bin--and Lydia loves Shar Peis. I promptly bought it. Dorcas had earlier found three at the Goodwill, and bought them for Lydia. I got her several other cute stuffed toys, a magnetic board game, a math calculator game, a handmade wooden “Sunbonnet Sue” with a lacy dress and bonnet to hang on her wall, a fluffy little owl with real feathers sitting on a dried piece of cactus, a colorful lined windbreaker, the book Anne of Green Gables, a teal and black plaid leather purse, a flowered jewelry box into which I put two bead necklaces, an amethyst ring, and a mint green marbleized bangle bracelet, and a brand-new pair of black leather shoes, tags still attached.
I also found a heavy crystal hostess platter with a steepled church and fir trees etched into the glass and 24k gold on the edge, and a set of three old-fashioned pictures with frames of rough wood. I got those for Bobby and Hannah.
I then headed to Wal-Mart for the rest of Bobby and Hannah’s wedding gift. We gave them four white Battenburg lace decorator pillows, and a set of towels and cloths.
Saturday morning Larry took some videos at his shop with the little camcorder, then brought it home so we could watch it and see how it works. It seems to work fine. It takes a small-size cassette, however, so we have to plug the camera itself into our video player in order to watch it. We can then record onto a larger cassette, if we want to.
That afternoon, Hester and Caleb were sweeping and mopping; Caleb came around the corner with the mop and knocked over the large cassette holder with all the tapes … CCccRRRrrAAA-aaaSSsssHH!! They barely got everything all picked up again, the tapes all back into their respective slots, when Hester came around the corner with a kitchen chair, and bumped the tape holder with a leg of the chair. CCccRRRrrAAAaaaSSsssHH!! Over it went again.
Done with their chores, the littles went out to play in Hester’s new sprinkler, the one with the flexible hoses that spray water every which way when the base to which they are connected spins around.
Meanwhile, Hannah and Jennifer went off to buy the bread, while Dorcas and Sarah went to Wal-Mart to pick up the pictures from the first roll of film Dorcas took with her new camera. She’s rather disappointed, because she forgot to use her flash on several of the pictures, and on a bright sunny day, people’s faces are often cast into dark shadows unless a flash is used. But it’s a good camera; she will improve!
Larry took Hannah’s car to Mike’s Auto to have it aligned…and they didn’t charge anything, but wrote on the receipt, “Our very BEST to the newlyweds! CONGRADULATIONS!” (sic)
Is everybody always so nice to newlyweds?!
That evening, Victoria was singing away, as she does so often…”Glory, glory, hallelujah!… … …” and she ended with, “Glory, glory, hal!” (as opposed to 'His truth is marching on'.) She turned and looked at me. “Who’s Hal?” she asked.
Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny, but that was soon over, as dark, threatening clouds rolled in from the northwest. While we were eating dinner, we heard on our scanner that there was a tornado on the ground, about fifteen miles north of Columbus. It wasn’t long before the tornado sirens went off. We all rushed outside to view the sky.
And then, right from our very own front porch, we saw it: several small ‘fingers’ reaching down, and one large funnel cloud dropping down, retreating, then dropping down again. The air was deathly still, and we all watched as that bank of greenish-black rotating clouds moved toward the east. Finally the sirens were turned off, and we went back to our dinner. Fifteen minutes later they were sounding again, and the black billowing clouds seemed to be churning directly overhead. It seemed like evening in the middle of the day, and the wind suddenly hit with a vengeance. Big raindrops began plunking down, and the kids all decided it was a bit too much for them. They headed for the basement.
When the clouds kept dropping lower, and lower, and lower, and the wind and rain continued to increase, it occurred to me that perchance I should follow my family into the basement. I went into the house, down the front hallway, into the kitchen--and discovered Larry sitting at the table, calmly eating his dinner. hahaha Neither tornado nor tsunami nor temblor shall keep him from his Sunday baked chicken, nosiree! hahaha
Within five minutes, the clouds had blown over, and things were looking more normal outside. Soon it was time to get dressed for The Wedding…
I was just fastening my emerald necklace around my neck when Larry, rummaging about in his drawer, asked plaintively, “Do I have any blue-gray socks, just the color of my suit? Because these brown ones look funny, since my pants hit me just below the knee.”
Now, I knew he was exaggerating. I knew I had not cut them off that short. But suddenly I thought, “Oh, no! What if I readjusted the pantleg that had been right in the first place, and shortened it, instead of lengthening the other, and what if they are both backwards now, longer in the front, and shorter in the back?!” I rushed around the bed and looked at those pantlegs.
They were just right; absolutely perfect.
“Hahaha!” Larry guffawed--and then he ducked.
When it was time to go to the church for pictures, we managed to get there between downpours, and, at last check, as near as we could tell, no one drowned or was lost down one of the street gutters; although if we discover someone missing at suppertime today, we shall amend our data accordingly.
I have 14 rolls of film I am sending off to be developed…do you think I took enough pictures?? Well…some of the film is from our excursion Thursday to Two Rivers State Park.
We were happy that two of my uncles, Bob and Bill, with Bill’s wife Helen and my cousin Patty were able to come; we had not seen them for too, too long. We had an enjoyable visit with them.
A couple of months ago, when Hannah was writing the list of things she and Bobby needed, she complained to me, “This just doesn’t seem quite right, writing down one thing after another---I want this! I want that! Buy me this! Buy me that!”
I agreed, “Yes, it does seem like a rude practice, doesn’t it? I suppose it is practical, since this way people don’t give you 101 toasters, or 20 ironing boards…but still.”
She said, “I don’t think I’ll write ‘bread machine’; it just seems so greedy to put down such an expensive gift, when I really don’t need it.”
She left it off the list.
Guess what. She got no less than three bread machines. Three.
Besides those, there was a pile of presents like you wouldn’t believe…I tell you, a person would be hard put to find more generous friends than we have.
When the reception was over, Bobby and Hannah headed off, traveling west. They were planning to stop in Grand Island…and, after that…
But that’s next week’s letter.
And now it is nearly suppertime, so I will tell you all about Jennifer and Sarah’s departure--in their ‘new’ car--in the following epistle.
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