Tuesday, I sent Dorcas off to Wal-Mart to get a new blender. The night before, I’d pulled out my blender in order to puree the pumpkin I had baked--but the blades were missing. I hunted high and low, and then I hunted low and high, and then I tried high and low once again; but they were nowhere to be found. Perhaps one of the boys used them in a science project? Perhaps Tad used them to stir his cat food? (He doesn’t like his canned cat food unless it’s stirred.) Perhaps Hannah or Dorcas, mistaking them for electric shears, used them to cut fabric? Perhaps Larry used them at his shop to remove a rear clip from a wrecked vehicle? In any case, they have totally vanished, and I can’t find them anywhere.
Those kids! Those blades are supposed to go nowhere but right back into the glass pitcher of the blender , after they are washed! It is safe to assume that whoever washed the blender, on that long-ago date that I last used it, misplaced the blades; but nobody will admit to being the culprit.
Oh, well; it’s older’n the hills, and the last couple of times I used it, I let some of the smoke out, and the more smoke you let out of those apparatuses, the more liable they are to expire entirely. So we got a new one. And I pureed baked pumpkin, until it was smooth as silk. Funny how one little pumpkin makes four quarts of pumpkin puree. I put it into the freezer, and after Christmas I will make about 17 pumpkin chiffon pies.
Victoria watched this operation with interest, covering her ears with her hands when I put the appliance on ‘high’, and giggling when, each time I turned it off, a bubble rose to the top of the carafe and exploded with gusto, sending globules of pumpkin puree flying into the stratosphere. (Yes, I had already jerked the lid off and was pulling the decanter from its base when the bubble reached its zenith, every time without fail.) (And yes, Victoria and I were both bedecked with orange polka dots by the time I was finished.)
“Deck your nose with globs of pumpkin!” I sang, making her laugh all the more.
Speaking of kitchen devices, here’s a little tidbit from a Campbell’s Soup recipe card: “Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.”
When that was done, and the littles sent safely off to bed, I went to the school library, boxes of Christmas notebooks in tow (via Larry with his handy little wheeled cart/box carrier/small transporter/parcel hauler/carton carter…what are those things, anyway?), and I put all the songs in order. Between the songs I inserted pages telling the children what poem or verses go where, and who sings what song. It’s a lengthy operation; it took me three hours, and that, I think, was my best time ever.
Earlier that night, I practiced with our band and orchestra. Several of the songs for the horns are rather difficult, but I think, with plenty of practice, they will be able to play them okay.
One afternoon, as the children were arriving home from school, Victoria came running down the hall to meet them. There was a small skidding sound, and then, CRASHSHSH, THUD!!! Lydia ran to see what had happened, and to find out if Victoria had injured herself.
Victoria, scrambling to her feet, looked up at Lydia and remarked, “I fell down and hurt myself, and it didn’t even hurt anything!” and off she went again, pell-mell.
This week my Mozart32 music program has been busy, and the printer was no slouch, either, doing its fair share producing page after page of music. Even though I complain about what this music program will not do, nevertheless, it is amazing what it can do--and a far sight better than doing it all by hand, as we had to do till now. For instance, one of the young ladies who plays the flute came to ask me if I could write the music for The Birthday of a King an octave higher for the flutes.
“Sure,” I said, “Watch this!”
I trotted off to the computer, clicked a couple of buttons, hit “Print”---and presto whiz-bang, there we were then, with a copy of The Birthday of a King -- an octave up. Isn’t that nifty?
One evening, I was asking Larry about his new job with Walker Construction. They do cement-poured walls.
He’d been napping, and had awoken… But he was on his way back to Never-Never Land; it was the wrong time for questions.
“When do you get your first paycheck?” I inquired.
He squinted and thought deeply. “That’s hard to tell,” he mumbled.
I restated the question. “When does David pay his men?”
Larry squirmed, discomfited. “He pays between the hours of Monday, and he gives out the checks on Tuesday.”
“Oh,” I replied. “Well, that’s sensible. 'He pays between the hours of Monday.’ Of course. I should’ve known.”
Larry, eyes shut, gave what would have been a spirited nod, had he not been nearly asleep when he did it. “Yes,” he grumbled, “because I’ve told you that, three times.”
“You did not,” I refuted, and stalked off to my music program in high dudgeon, tossing back over my shoulder, “Goodnight. I hope your dreams are more sensible than your dialogues.”
And then he had the audacity to laugh. I’d like to know: How does one stay properly miffed at people who laugh about it??!
I love Honey-Roasted peanuts. And I just discovered that I like Butter Toffee peanuts, too. Now, if you ask me, the Butter Toffee nuts taste much sweeter than the Honey-Roasted nuts…I like the Honey-Roasted peanuts better. The Butter Toffee peanuts are too sweet, and they hurt my teeth. But, of all things!--the Honey-Roasted nuts have more calories!!--160 per serving, while the Butter Toffee is only 130! No fair, no fair!
Oh. Just a minute…maybe that’s not right.
One serving of Butter Toffee is considered to be about 25 nuts, while one serving of Honey Roasted is considered to be about 39 pieces. So, if we take three handfuls of peanuts per each half an hour, divide by pi and add the square root of a dozen macadamia nut cookies, we get ten pounds of fat per leg. And while I figured that out, I ate half the can of nuts, equaling 960 calories, meaning I have just told my sourdough muffin with peanut butter and honey for breakfast tomorrow bye-bye.
But Mmmmmm… It was worth it.
Maybe.
Oh! I’ve just found a way to circumvent the calorie tally: I pick out the nuts that are stuck together! Each clump, no matter how large, counts as one peanut. Wheeeeeeeee! I can eat lots more, now that I figured that out!
Last week one day, Dorcas babysat for a family she’d met at the daycare center where she works. She was left with instructions to fix the children soup for supper. When the soup was ready, she called them. They came trotting into the kitchen--pealing out of their shirts as they came!
“What are you doing?” asked Dorcas, amazed.
“We always take off our shirts when we eat soup,” the older child explained.
And so saying, they proceeded to eat their soup--in their skin. Well, their topskin, but still their skin. When supper was over, they donned their duds and departed the room.
We had our third Christmas Program practice Friday evening. The children recited their poems (well, that is, they tried to recite their poems) for the first time. There are only two more practices; how can we possibly get everything ironed out in time for the program? Yikes.
Teddy spends a good deal of his time lately telling me how he and his father will need more food to eat now, because they will be lots hungrier, on account of their new jobs. I think that kid is running on empty, 95% of the time! I point him into the kitchen, and give him explicit instructions as to where to find a little fodder to hold him over until mealtime.
President Clinton visited Omaha and Kearney Friday--the first time in his entire presidency that he has come to our state. I’m not very fond of him, but he can be humorous. He said to the crowd at Kearney, “I’m glad to see that you were able to find a building large enough to hold all the Democrats in Nebraska--and a few charitable Republicans, too!”
When they were done working Saturday afternoon, Teddy and Joseph went off to play basketball with Keith and several other boys. Teddy and Joseph are tired, stiff, and sore…but that doesn’t stop them from playing basketball. Or football. Or going iceskating.
When the boys came home from the park, and Larry came home from the shop, where he was clearing out the last few things, Larry cut Teddy’s hair. Teddy wondered when Larry would find time to get his own haircut (it needs it), now that he is working full time for David. Larry said that I could do it.
AAAAAAaaaaaaa!
I asked him if he’d read ‘Pickles ’ (one of the comics in our daily paper) today. Mrs. Pickles was preparing to trim Mr. Pickles’ hair, but she forgot to put the little plastic attachment on that regulates how much hair you cut off, and ZZZZZzzzzZZtttt!--she shaved a big hunk of fur out of the middle of the back of his head. As we left them today, she was assuring him that it wasn’t very noticeable…hahaha! It’s a 3” by 4” swath, sheared right off! Leveled to the scalp!
Larry cleared his throat and allowed as how he might be able to work out something at the barbershop…
Saturday night when we went to the grocery store, we saw a three- or four-car accident just down the boulevard a few blocks. One car had hit an electrical pole, and there was a heavy line down on the sidewalk. Larry pulled into the nearby Casey’s to see what was happening, and a man in a pointed stocking cap came rushing toward us and several other cars already parked there, pointing vehemently back the way we had come.
“Who does he think he is?” I said, snickering at his funny antics.
“He’s a pointer,” Larry enlightened me.
We left the scene of the smashup and proceeded on to the store. We got our groceries and returned home, and I made cherry cheesecake for dinner today. Actually, I made four cherry cheesecakes, and put them all into one humungous pan.
Sunday dinner was pork loins, baked potatoes and gravy, carrots, applesauce, cottage cheese, buttermilk biscuits, and cherry cheesecake. Hannah wasn’t feeling well, so she didn’t come; but we sent Bobby home with a stack of little covered dishes, and enough food inside them that Hannah will still be assured of some food, should Bobby seat himself on a curb halfway between here and there and have a wee snack.
Now Dorcas is playing the piano; Larry is reading the paper; Teddy has gone for a little ride with Amy and Lydia; Victoria is rocking her dolly; and Caleb is drawing something with the PaintBox program on the other computer. Hester is nowhere to be seen, which doubtless means she is ensconced in her room, nose in a book. And that's what the Jacksons of 42nd Avenue are doing this cold December afternoon.
…
OH! I forgot Joseph! Joseph is getting himself a glass of ice, as usual. Crackle crackle POP POP clunk clunk clunk clunk. That was the sound of ice cracking in ice cube trays, popping loose, and then landing on the floor. I realized, just as soon as I heard that sound, that I had left him out. But here he is, and there he is, and there you are, and that’s that.
We have just had a Small-Blue-Footprint-Tracked-All-Over-the-House mystery. Several people were heard exclaiming, and looking at the floor, and practicing their tracking abilities, and then suddenly Caleb was heard to howl and holler, "Eewwww! My sock is all blue and yucky!" He peeled off his sock and howled the more. "EWWWW!!! MY TOE IS ALL BLUE AND YUCKY!"
Since the now-wiped-up ooey blue gooey smells remarkably like blueberry perfume, we are highly suspicious that somewhere in this domicile a blue magic marker, of blueberry scent, is skulking along, looking for more sock-footed victims on which to vent its venom.
BEWARE THE BLUEBERRY PHANTOM!
As I write, it is snowing and blowing outside. We have already accumulated a couple of inches, with expectations for more, and the temperature is three degrees. By tomorrow, the windchill is projected to be 45 degrees below zero.
Take a look at the weather report I just received:
Snow...occasionally heavy...will continue into Monday morning over southeast and east central Nebraska and western Iowa. The snow is expected to increase across northeast Nebraska. The snow could be mixed with freezing drizzle or sleet the rest of tonight and most of the snow should taper to flurries by Monday afternoon. Total snow accumulations will range from 2 to 4 inches northeast Nebraska to 6 inches in parts of southeast Nebraska and southwest Iowa. Temperatures will be very cold with lows tonight 5 below to 10 below north to zero to 5 above south. These temperatures combined with north winds gusting to 25 mph will produce dangerously cold wind chills of 25 to 45 below zero into Monday afternoon.
Significant blowing and drifting snow will also likely develop. This combination of weather elements will produce hazardous travel conditions across the area. Travel is not recommended...but if you must travel...bring a winter emergency travel kit...including gloves...hat and a blanket in case you become stranded. Also take along a cell phone if one is available.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Isn't that fun??? Do come play in the snow and cold with us, and -- you heard the weatherman -- BRING YOUR HAT.
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